Could “The Last Story” be the worst video game title ever?
There are a lot of different ways to poorly title a video game. You can go the really generic route, like Relic did for their Warhammer 40k shooter, Space Marine. You can try going simultaneously generic and nonsensical, like Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning, which tells you nothing about the game other than the fact that it probably…has knights or dragons or something.
Only one game can really have the worst title though, and that honor has to go to Mistwalker’s The Last Story. Why?
Well, for a number of reasons, but before I get into that, allow me to prove to you that I know a thing or two about bad titles. You see, when I was in college, I wrote a ten-minute play about police officers. It was titled, and this is 100% true, Cop Drama. Me and bad titles are so close that it would pick me up from the airport with me even needing to ask.
So why is The Last Story such a bad title?
Let’s see…It’s a Japanese RPG…it was developed by Mistwalker, which is a studio that was founded by Hironobu Sakaguchi, a guy who famously created a certain long-running Japanese RPG series…Not getting it yet? Let me break it down for you:
First, let’s drop the “The,” leaving us with “Last Story.”
LAST = FINAL
STORY = FANTASY
It’s a JRPG. It’s made by the studio started by the guy who created Final Fantasy. It’s practically called Final Fantasy. Not only that, but The Last Story is also a really boring and generic name. At least Final Fantasy has the word “fantasy” in it. You see that on the store shelf and you think “Hey, I bet there’s knights or dragons or something in this.” You see The Last Story on a store shelf and you think “Hey, I bet there’s a guy reading to his daughter, and she’s like ‘read me one more story!’ and he says ‘okay, but this is The Last Story.’”
Awful stuff. Maybe that’s why Nintendo won’t bring the game to North America? They realize that it’s an awful title and they’re embarrassed.
So congratulations to The Last Story for winning the prestigious award for “Worst Video Game Title Ever.”
Yesterday:
The pitiless advance of Nintendo’s all-devouring patent juggernaut: An unbiased and objective analysis
Tomorrow:
Sony announces new PlayStation 2
3 Comments to “Could “The Last Story” be the worst video game title ever?”
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Sony announces new PlayStation 2
3 Comments to “Could “The Last Story” be the worst video game title ever?”
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Seriously? I get that it’s straightforward and not exactly creative but “The Last Story” isn’t even that horrible of a title. At least it makes sense, unlike “Infinite Undiscovery”. And so what if the creator of the game decides to title it similar to an earlier project of his? How is that a crime? That has nothing to do with why this, Xenoblade, and Pandora’s Tower might not be coming to the US. Surely, no one(not even NoA) is dumb enough to not bring a game over simply because of its title.
The best Kuribo’s Shoes comments always start with “Seriously?”
Anyway, I will concede Infinite Undiscovery to you. That is shitty nonsense.
Now I’m gonna go play that new Miyamoto game, SpaceRaccoon. Or maybe The Myth of Hilda….
ALSO THNX 4 READING TELL UR FRIENDS (even if you tell them to hate us)