Nintendo announces new glitch that allows you to enjoy Skyward Sword from the very beginning
After receiving various reports from frustrated users, Nintendo has confirmed the existence of a game-ending bug in The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. Apparently, the glitch will manifest if you complete some series of arbitrary tasks in an incorrectly arbitrary order, and will then prevent certain in-game events from occurring properly, rendering the game unplayable. Sorry if we’re a little vague on the details. We’re still playing Skyrim over here, cause Nintendo games are for babies.
Anyway, what should be a PR headache for the company – especially after the lukewarm response to its 3DS release and catastrophically falling profits (Nintendo president Satoru Iwata could only afford one solid gold toilet this year) – has now been spun into a back-of-the-box feature.
“We’re actually very proud of the fans for discovering Skyward Sword’s secret ‘New Game Plus Minus Plus’ mode,” says Reggie Fils-Aime, Nintendo’s VP of kicking ass and chewing bubblegum (though he is presently out of bubblegum). “We hoped people would never find it, but our fans are too smart for that. Those god damn nerds found it right away!”
Reggie, who totally is okay with us calling him that cause we’re bros, continued by elaborating on why the mode was given the unusual name of “New Game Plus Minus Plus.” He explained that the New Game Plus is a long-standing tradition in video games, usually found in RPGs. The mode allows you to play the game over again, while still keeping all of the weapons or experience points you had accumulated in your initial playthrough. NGPMP operates in a very similar fashion, only that it requires you to start a new game without any of the “plus.” So it’s a New Game Plus without the Plus, or New Game Plus Minus Plus. It’s pretty clever…in a stupid, not clever way, but what the name essentially means is that you have to get to start Skyward Sword over again from the very beginning, without any of the progress you had made.
“Our competitors would probably charge extra to make you download the NGPMP mode, but Nintendo isn’t like that. We’re giving you great features like this for free, without any online infrastructure in place to help us fix it — I mean…not that. We don’t need to fix it. We did it on purpose!” For a moment, and only a moment, Reggie began to look flustered.
Stores are being instructed to label all copies of Skyward Sword with a sticker promoting its secret new mode, with some even taking it as a cue that the game is now more valuable, and thus, should cost more. One Gamestop manager we spoke to said he was unfamiliar with some game about a girl named Zelda, but that we should probably pick up a few strategy guides for it and a complimentary $15 subscription to Game Informer while we were there.
Next thing we knew, our wallets were gone and the trunk of the car was full of DJ Heroes. Curse you, Gamestop!
Yesterday:
American Release of Xenoblade Chronicles Opens the Way for Flood of Stupid Petitions
Tomorrow:
Newest PSN User Agreements Update Prevents Player Complaints
2 Comments to “Nintendo announces new glitch that allows you to enjoy Skyward Sword from the very beginning”
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Newest PSN User Agreements Update Prevents Player Complaints
2 Comments to “Nintendo announces new glitch that allows you to enjoy Skyward Sword from the very beginning”
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You should check your spelling a little closer next time you try to write an article.
GASP!
I’m very sorry, friend. I never meant to offend anyone with the typo I missed in this hilarious article that I wrote for free.
But I appreciate the kind advice! I will keep it in mind next time I *try* to write something.