Newest PSN User Agreements Update Prevents Player Complaints
When questioned about the large bag of cash in his possession, former Judge Rain declared a "money fight."
In the past few months, major electronics companies have been coming out with updated user agreements that contain sections which prohibit players from filing class-action lawsuits. Microsoft recently released an update which declares that any dispute that a user may have with their gaming division may only be settled through a private out-of-court arbitration. Basically, this means that any suit will be heard by a retired judge who is paid a lot more money than an actual judge and isn’t in any way obligated to be sympathetic with the little guy getting screwed by big corporations. This announcement comes less than three months after Sony put out a Terms of Service update with similar wording and which creates the same effect.
Eager to stay ahead of the game, Sony Computer Entertainment just released a new update which requires people who want to use the PlayStation Network to accept their new terms. These Terms of Service state that users of the PlayStation 3, PSP, and other Sony products are no longer allowed to complain about anything related to the company. Should any person be found to have expressed complaint about any licensed Sony product, whether it be in an online game, on Facebook, on a public bathroom wall, or in an article about the latest PSN Terms of Service update, that person will be in violation of the user agreements and will be barred from playing any games on a Sony platform. Yes, this includes Skyrim.
The previous PSN Terms of Service update, which disallowed class-action suits against Sony, was thought to be in response to the negative reaction of many members of PSN to the halt in online services and compromise in their security following the hacking of the network. The newest update is thought to be in response to the negative reaction to the disallowance of PlayStation product owners to file a lawsuit against Sony that would be heard by an actual judge and jury.
Responding to the flood of criticism following the release of these new user agreements, Sony Computer Entertainment America CEO Jack Tretton issued the following statement:
“We at SCEA realize that we have disappointed many of our loyal fans and users in the wake of the recent hacking of the PlayStation Network, and we have listened to your complaints about the resulting changes in the PSN user agreements. Fortunately, with the release of these updated agreements, we won’t have to listen to them anymore.”
A group of PSN users have already tried to sue Sony over the new user agreements, but the group lost in the private, out-of-court arbitration. The retired judge who served as arbiter, former Judge Mack N. Rain, had this to say:
“Sony effectively argued their position. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to make a large deposit.”
Kuribo’s Shoes was able to contact the leader of the group who attempted to sue Sony. The gamer, who prefers to remain unnamed, based his argument on the first amendment of the U.S. constitution, saying that free speech is a basic right.
“I would do anything to protect my right of free speech! I don’t need Sony. I’ll throw my PlayStation 3 right out the window! Oh God, I can’t take it anymore. I take it back! I’ll do anything, just let me play Skyrim again!”
Because the lawsuit against Sony failed, other gaming companies, including Microsoft and Electronic Arts, have already written very similar user agreements which are expected to be put into effect in the near future. Sony, meanwhile, has already issued a press release pointing out that SCE now has the highest customer satisfaction of any gaming company by far.
Their opponents thoroughly crushed, Sony is already in the process of drafting a new set of user agreements. It’s rumored that these Terms of Service will state that in order to use any Sony products, users must take time out of their day every hour on the hour to praise the company for its greatness. Additionally, any journalist who publishes an article relating to Sony must not only refrain from criticism, but must close the article by declaring that Sony Computer Entertainment is the greatest gaming company of all time. This new update is expected to be released at any second.
In conclusion, Sony is right to make these changes to the user agreements, and has made all the right decisions and never made any mistakes. Sony Computer Entertainment is the greatest gaming company of all time. All hail Sony!
Yesterday:
Nintendo announces new glitch that allows you to enjoy Skyward Sword from the very beginning
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2011 Spike Video Game Awards winners no one cared about enough to televise announced
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2011 Spike Video Game Awards winners no one cared about enough to televise announced
