Kuribo’s Shoes: The Internet’s only website

As you may be aware, a number of websites are shutting themselves down today in protest of SOPA or PIPA or SOPAPILLA or whatever. Here at Kuribo’s Shoes, we’ve got better stuff to do than get all high and mighty about “censorship” or “destroying the internet” or whatever hippie nonsense the tinfoil hat crowd is worrying about now.

Apparently the idea is that if John Q. American goes on Wikipedia or…Reddit today and realizes that the site is blocked, they’ll have no choice but to learn about SOPAPILLA and how it will affect them. We say fuck that.

The Internet's greatest foe!

If every website wants to go away for the day, then fine. Good riddance. We’re not going anywhere. All of these other websites are going to abandon you, but we won’t. You don’t need them anyway! We’ll be the whole internet!
That’s because we’re…KURIBO’S SHOES: THE INTERNET’S ONLY WEBSITE

Look, we’ve got news about the recent GOP presidential debate:
-Disgusting Santorum pun!
-Mitt Romney fails Voight-Kampff test!

We’ve got all of the important updates from your fave social networking site:
-Glee was amazzzzzzzzing! LOL <3
-IM GOING TO DELETE A BUNCH OF YOU FROM MY FRIENDS LIST BECAUSE I WANT ATTENTION AND YOU WON’T GIVE IT TO ME
-HERES A PHOTO OF MY DOG! MY PROFILE PICTURE IS OF A BABY!
-TRENDING TOPICS!

We’ve got Youtube:
-PICTURE A MAN FALLING DOWN
-IMAGINE A WHINY EMO KID COVERING HIS FAVORITE SONGS (BADLY) ON AN IMPROPERLY TUNED ACOUSTIC GUITAR
-CUTE ANIMALS
-A LAUGHING BABY

We’ve even got all of your favorite message boards:

Actually, that image pretty much encompasses all of the Internet anyway…so I don’t think we’re forgetting anything, are we?