Kuribo’s Shoes: Dedicated to bringing you the best tenuously-if-at-all-connected-to-gaming news on the Internet
Popular gaming site Kotaku recently announced the creation of “Kotaku Core,” a separate feed on their sites that will contain only the blog’s specifically game related news and leave out the main site’s posts on gaming culture more generally.
We at Kuribo’s Shoes are saddened by this dilution of Kotaku’s unique vision, one which threatens to deprive thousands of readers of essential content like news stories about Japanese people doing non-gaming things while in the general vicinity of an arcade, reposts from Alec Baldwin’s Twitter feed, and Tim Rogers’ almost superhuman ability to say in ten thousand words what most people would say in two hundred if they thought it was worth saying at all. Thus, we are very proud to announce the birth of Kuribo’s Shoes Periphery, your ultimate source for all things very, very tenuously connected with video games. We’ll be bringing you essential content like:
My cat Midnight, less than 20 feet from my PlayStation 3 (not pictured).
Pictures of our pets on, near, or in the same room as a video game or gaming paraphernalia.
My magisterial 32,000 word magnum opus, “I Once Went to Blockbuster Video and Wanted to Rent Ogre Battle but Couldn’t Because it Wasn’t In.”
Pictures of large-breasted women using smart phones.
Transcripts of my conversations with the waitress at my local bar who kind of looks like the chick with glasses from Lost Odyssey.
Musings on how Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes had hair that sort of resembled Cloud Strife’s.
Mundane news on municipal government in rural Hungary, some of it taking place less than 100 miles from where Crytek Budapest made Crysis: Warhead.
Essential insights into game theory from the abstract’s of the latest articles in prestigious journals like the International Journal of Game Theory and Games and Economic Behavior, as well as excerpts from the works of the field’s founder, brilliant mathematician, polymath, pioneering contributor to fields ranging from computer science to economics to quantum physics, and guy who can’t sue us because he’s dead John von Neumann. Game theory is a discipline based on mathematical modeling of strategic interactions between decision-makers commonly used in fields such as economics and international politics and has nothing to do with video games whatsoever. It does, however, contain the word “game,” so it qualifies.
A new recurring feature recounting memories of times members of our staff pleasured themselves while watching Captain N: The Game Master, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show, and other game-based animated shows.
Pictures of large-breasted women sitting or standing in the vicinity of people using smart phones.
The most accurate, up-to-date info on references to games and electronic devices in Miley Cyrus’ Twitter feed.
Reviews of episodes of old sitcoms where people played video games.
Nobel laureate and Chapman University Professor of Economics... or former Spetsnaz commando, master gunman, and ruthlessly deadly international secret agent? You decide.
Hard-hitting commentary on subjects that happen to have the same or similar names as video games or game characters, including but not limited to: the Sonic Drive-In restaurant chain, the acting of Saved by the Bell star Mario Lopez, the novels of Zelda Fitzgerald, what real Master Chief Petty Officers in the U.S. Navy do, the career of Minnesota Twins center fielder Kirby Puckett, Luigi’s Pizza and Fun Center in Aurora, Illinois, how the machining process to manufacture gears works, a detailed episode-by episode analysis of the character Linc Hayes on The Mod Squad, and more. Plus, a special feature on 2002 Nobel Economics Prize recipient Vernon Smith, who looks sort of like Revolver Ocelot.
Pictures of large-breasted women sitting or standing in the vicinity of people using conventional cell phones.
And much, much more, coming soon to Kuribo’s Shoes Periphery!
Yesterday:
Kuribo’s Shoes: The Internet’s only website
Tomorrow:
Family Research Council Becomes Aware of Video Games, Warns Everyone
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Family Research Council Becomes Aware of Video Games, Warns Everyone
