EA Sparks New Marketing Trend: Literal Video Game Launches

When it comes to creating hype for upcoming video game releases, it looks like the days of humdrum demos, trailers, and pre-order bonuses are at an end. Once Mass Effect publisher Electronic Arts “launches” their new marketing campaign (Get it? That’s what we at Kuribo’s Shoes call a “pun”), anything that doesn’t involve fire, zero gravity, and $5 million is bound to be largely ignored by the gaming community.

Recently, EA announced their intention to launch six pre-release copies of the highly anticipated Mass Effect 3 into space in weather balloons. The games will then slowly descend back to Earth around the cities of New York, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Berlin, London, and Paris (and around Sidney, Austaralia three weeks later). Mass Effect fans are then to make a mad dash for the landing site. EA has not specified any rules for this contest other than whoever gets to the game first (assuming they’re still alive) gets to keep it.

A chilling vision of things to come.

Though EA may be anticipating a Rat Race type situation with amusing and heart-warming results, the threat of violence in a contest such as this is very real. We contacted the NYPD police commissioner to find out how the department is preparing for the event:

“So, a bunch of nerds are going to be racing each other to get a video game?” said the commissioner. “Um… I suppose we might have to be worried about asthma attacks. Are you really from the New York Times?”

With no one else voicing concerns about the dangers involved in this bold and expensive ad campaign, other video game publishers and developers are following suit. Sony has launched a couple of the first-edition bundles of the PlayStation Vita into space already, but very few noticed. Nintendo launched copies of PokéPark 2: Wonders Beyond in Pikachu-shaped weather balloons, which delighted children and irritated mothers around the globe.

Nintendo also launched a few early copies of the North American version of Xenoblade Chronicles. Unfortunately, there was a slight miscalculation and they were launched too far into space to be recovered, and are currently heading directly toward the sun. Some Nintendo fans have speculated that the company did this on purpose. Nintendo declined to comment on the incident.

Meanwhile, Microsoft Game Studios has announced their intentions to launch Halo 3 into space. When asked why they would do this with a game that has already been on the market for over four years, Vice President Phil Spencer mumbled something about Halo fans being too stupid to know what they already bought and then hung up the phone.

Even creators of video game-related products are joining in. In order to boost low sales of the Skyrim novel, author Jeff Jefferson launched several signed copies of the book over major U.S. cities yesterday. Unfortunately, the weight of the novels could not be supported by weather balloons, and the stunt resulted in millions of dollars in property damage. Twenty-three people were injured, and six are dead.

Even independent developers are getting into the spirit of this new trend. Though none of them have millions of dollars to piss away, some have come up with creative ways of launching their products. Since Minecraft developer Mojang has recently made a deal with the LEGO company for the development of a Lego Minecraft set, Markus “Notch” Persson decided to catapult a few early versions of these sets into local grade school playgrounds in an attempt to reach a younger crowd. Mr. Persson’s court hearing is scheduled for March 2^nd.

Angry Birds developer Rovio Mobile also brought fresh attention to the popular franchise by launching actual birds at a group of real live pigs. The campaign ended abruptly when the owner of the pigs chased the Rovio Mobile employees off with a pitchfork. The PETA vs. Rovio Mobile hearing is scheduled for March 3^rd.

No one can yet say how long this particular advertising trend will last, though congress is already drafting a bill to outlaw the launching of any video game or video game related product due to the amount of damage an injuries already caused by the practice. As a result, EA has announced plans to drop copies of video games from their private jets, which technically does not involve launching. Kuribo’s Shoes will be standing by to report on the inevitable damaged caused by this newer new trend as it happens.